Moms of the world - can you remember what life was like before you had kids? More to the point, do you even recognize that person you see in old photos - that person all carefree and happy and with a big and bold future ahead of them?
Well, that person is still in there, somewhere. With a lot more life experience, of course. And even though you might not think it when you look in the mirror, there is a chance to reclaim the good parts of that old identity. We’re going to take a look how, right now - so read on to find out!
First of all, you lose your identity because you are completely and utterly devoted to your kids. Your life revolves around them and everything you do is for them. There is nothing wrong with this, of course, but it’s important to be careful to look after yourself from time to time. Don’t forget, the better you feel, the better you will be able to display your mom skills.
OK, so hitting the nightclubs until dawn breaks is probably not a good idea. But there are still a multitude of activities you can do to get you out and about a lot more - and meeting people and being social. Have regular playdates with moms that have kids of a similar age to yours, and consider joining - or starting - your own book club.
Take up a hobby
Hobbies can be a real lifesaver when you feel like all you do is clear up half-digested dinners and change diapers. Which, let’s face it, starts to lose its magic after a few weeks - let alone a few years. Find something you love doing, and get involved with it. Whether it’s knitting or tennis, drawing or photography, there is a hobby out there for everyone - you just have to go find it.
Reinvigorate your brain
Of course, you can take the hobby thing a step further by using any time you have spare to do some serious learning. Why not use your insanely developed mom skills and take a step towards a possible career with a BS Organizational Leadership qualification. Or how about turning your maternal instincts into a new calling by doing a midwifery course? Or if you have a job or career you plan to go back into, why not prepare by taking a relevant qualification to keep yourself up to speed?
Take a bath
Seriously - why not? So many moms go hell for leather all day, every day. And research suggests that a big reason behind losing your identity is because mothers often feel bedraggled and exhausted. A nice hot bath or shower once in a while can feel like heaven, and that also goes for all the other little things in life that bring you pleasure. Feel like going shopping? Do it! Don’t feel guilty about taking some time out for yourself - it’s often what makes us what we are.
Do you have any tips on how to reclaim your identity? Why not share them in the comments section below?
CANDY TAI is a wife to David and mom of 5 with a degree in Communications. She's a native Texan (Hook 'Em Horns!) who's been making her home in the Kansas City metro area for nearly 15 years. She loves being able to shuffle her kids from their various sports activities, piano lessons, and school activities. She enjoys fashion, beauty, reality TV, and moviegoing.