As if the stress of home life isn't enough, if we've got a household to run and children to look after, but we are concerned about our parents getting older, we may think about taking them in, and having them live with us. It's something we'd all love to do, but is it practical? Not only this, will this be too much for us to cope with?
It Will Be A Major Change
This is stating the obvious, but even though deciding to do this comes from the place of love, you may find that everybody in the household will feel a sense of pressure. As far as daily duties are concerned, routines will be completely shaken up. And this can be quite an adjustment. If you've got children in the household, or even if they've all moved out, you've still got to find a right way to cope with your parental duties, looking after your parents, but also balancing your own life.
Getting Professional Help
You want your parents to be as independent as possible. And if it's got to the point where you need them to move in with you, or this is too much, you could hire professional care so that they have a regular routine. The one thing that we may not be able to come to terms with is if they're doing enough for our parents. Usually, people decide to have their parents move in with them because a few problems have come to a head in a professional sense, maybe the care wasn’t up to scratch. But we've got to balance this with the level of care your parents need in relation to their age and medical conditions. If a condition like Alzheimer’s is becoming a major issue, you've got to decide whether Alzheimer’s care in a retirement community setting is actually the best option. There's going to be a lot of demands on your life in this respect, but you have to not think about your needs as a priority. It's them that needs the around-the-clock care.
Are You Able To Physically Do It All?
It's a good idea in theory, but what if we still need to work? We can have people coming in and make sure that our parents are medicated, but by having them come to live with us because we feel there is no other option for them may not be the best thing for us. You mean well, but are you physically able to cope with the demands? And you could argue that you've done a lot of it before, or you are duty-bound to do it because they are your family, but you've got to think about the balance. Because if you're not able to cope with every aspect, is this healthy in the long run for everybody?
It's never an easy decision, and we're doing it with the best intentions, but we have to think about it all in the round. We could have our parents come to live with us, but we have to alter our home and make a lot of sacrifices.
CANDY TAI is a wife to David and mom of 5 with a degree in Communications. She's a native Texan (Hook 'Em Horns!) who's been making her home in the Kansas City metro area for nearly 15 years. She loves being able to shuffle her kids from their various sports activities, piano lessons, and school activities. She enjoys fashion, beauty, reality TV, and moviegoing.